I wondered about dropping a little  pearl of wisdom on this last day of 2012. But what do I know about what is best for the next person!  I have my own self-improvement to work on.

We all know someone who knows everything. Right now you are probably thinking of at least one person who knows it all.  That person will tell you how to raise your kids, do your job, who to be friends with, who not to be friends with, how to organize your cupboards ‘right’,  what colour to paint your walls, what to wear,  lose weight…yada yada yada. If we believe these critical voices then we are in danger of  forgetting who we really are, and becoming our own worse critic.

There is even a television show about brides who  sometimes compromise picking out a dress for their wedding day, to please someone else and not themselves.  Yikes.   That voice of disapproval wins again. By this point in her life she has learned to distrust her own wants and needs. She has already lost her own sense of self.

These influences can really do a number on our view of ourselves.  If we grow up hearing from others that we are bad, that we aren’t smart enough, that our size is wrong,  that our race is wrong, that our life choices are wrong,  then eventually we master the art of self disapproval. Bit by bit we start  to believe those little unwanted judgements of others. It strips away our very core and confidence in ourselves.

There comes a time in life when enough is enough.  A time to tell yourself the truth that others didn’t know how to tell you because of their own lack of confidence. If we all truly believed how great we are and if we helped others believe how great they are, there would be less criticism of self and of others floating around in this world. If we acknowledged that  famous poem “Children Learn What they Live” as the truth, and we did something about that, our world would be a little more peaceful. Lets pay attention to  this especially.  Our little ones need to believe they are GOOD, that they are SMART  and WORTHY.  They need to believe the truth about themselves starting from day one. Our formative years are crucial.  If a two-year old is getting the message that they are bad, that they are not smart etc.  then chances are they are getting the same messages at 3 and  4…and at 12 and 13 etc.

Lose the critic. If you have one in your life, tell them to stop.  If they don’t respect that, then you have a choice to make, don’t you?  Put up with it. Or walk away and surround yourself with people who treat you and others well.  But whatever your choice…please stop believing them and start listening to the truth. Your own truth. No one knows you better than yourself. If you have been believing the false judgements of others, it’s time to make a change.

As for New Years Resolutions, we’ve heard them all before.  I am going to examine what I need to do to better myself.  While I am doing that, my hope for you is that you truly do what you need to do for your own happiness.  You already know what isn’t working in your life.  You don’t need anyone else to tell you that.  Just remember to believe the truth about who you really are. Remember that you deserve to be treated well. It begins by treating your self well.  It’s not selFISH to take care of your needs. Lose that FISH and replace it with care.  Self Care is not selFISH!

Happy New Year!  Listen to your own inner voice when it comes to what you need this year. But  make sure it’s not the Inner Critic! Lets lose criticism of others and of ourselves.  By doing so, we will help the world be a better place in 2013.

Kathy

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